Session Three: Day One- Quick To Listen

My dearly loved brothers, understand this: Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.

James 1:19

Hmmm.  Given that I have already shared extensively that anger is an issue I have struggled with, I can tell you right now that today's lesson hit its mark upon my heart.  Beth had us list out the three things that the above verse talks about and they are 1) Quick to hear 2) Slow to speak 3) Slow to anger.  You can probably already guess that I starred number three as being the most challenging to my natural personality.  What about each of you? 

Jill.  I actually starred all three.  I gave slow to anger 3 stars, slow to speak 2 stars and 1 star with quick to listen.  I have a problem with going from content to enraged in miliseconds.

Personal Question

When I think about my own relationship with God and where anger fits upon the scale of nonissue or substantial, I am at about a 5 and while that seems high to me, especially since it is something I am so aware of and constantly working on, it has come down from being a ten in previous years.  Things like my kids not obeying or Kyle not listening to me or people cutting in line at the airport or extended family attempting to force my family to do things we don't want to....these are all items that make me angry.  

Jill:  I too am a 5.  I have recently realized that my quick temper is a direct result of my lack of personal worth.  If I ever feel like someone is making me feel "stupid, not listening to me, cutting me off in traffic, etc etc etc"  I get not just angry but enraged.  I have been able to back the enraged down to just angry.  And I also realized no one is making me feel stupid or unworthy, I put that on others.  I am sure no one thinks I am stupid or unworthy, but some how I twist into that.

 There are places in the scripture where it talks about righteous anger and where we are reminded that it is okay to be angry.  It just isn't okay to lash out in anger or make our issues a reason to verbalize anger at others.  

One of the things that makes me feel justifiably angry every time is in the leadership of our home.  I desperately want my kids to be trained in biblical things and to serve God all of their lives.  Sometimes I feel like Kyle works so hard outside of our home and has such a laid back personality, that he isn't taking this training seriously.  I get mad because I want him to be the one doing devotions, having the hard conversations, disciplining them, modeling Godly behavior.  In reality, I'm the at home parent so naturally most of that falls to me.  I think I would like to see more intentionality with Kyle, but wanting that doesn't justify me being mad about it. I need to remember that Kyle is naturally more relaxed about everything and it isn't a failure on his part if he isn't doing it the way that I would do it.

In fact, in Ephesians 4:30 - 31, it specifically says that my anger will actually prevent God from being able to act in my family.  Yikes.

My kids see the irritation and anger regarding whatever thing I'm upset about and it negates every good thing I've ever tried to instill in them.  Or at least that is the conviction that this passage is throwing at me.  I need to replace any anger I have with scriptures embedded in my heart.  The more I reflect on the Word of God, the less room for anger there will be.

Scripture is intended for us; to fill the void created to contain God.  It makes me really stop and explore what areas I am trying fill with other things, whether it is anger, things, food, control, etc., I need to be intentional about replacing them with God.  I'm embracing the challenge.  What about you?

Jill:  On page 77 when Beth says that the word in James is actually "Sozo".  I love this word.  Our pastor describes Sozo as if you are walking along minding your own business you look down and see you are stepping off of a cliff and someone comes along and grab's you before your eminite death and rescuse's you.  So I see that definiation in my mind that God is "Sozoing" me (not sure that is an actual word, but you get my meaning).  It is quite beautiful dont you think?